The plane slashed through the snowy clouds that slowly sailed across the endless blue sky. The aircraft radiated feelings of sorrow and anger as it glided in the air swiftly. At the center of the mourning was a boy with dark storm clouds circulating his backward cap.
The boy was tall and slim, but his most astounding character was that he was an Asian. However, he happened to not be your stereotypical Asian. In fact, if his appearance was different, you could even call him white. He wasn’t brilliant and he didn’t use big words and he even played tennis, white man’s sport. He despised his cultural background and would have thrown it away if he had the chance. How might I know this kid so well? Well, that poor child being sent off to Korea happened to be me.
Nothing ever seemed to go right, at least for my pitiful life. My parents, who were probably the most Asian of Asians, with accent and all, decided it was time for me to fully understand my culture. Sending me to Korea was their plan A and plan B. I, of course, did not get to influence my opinion whatsoever and was expected to be a puppy that was excited to follow what it was ordered to do.
I didn’t meet their requirements.
I barked and snarled at the enraging idea. My parents were not amused. My mom exploded into one of her long sermons about how they were spending thousands of dollars for my own benefit and how I should be grateful to them. The words continued to be spit upon my smothered face for hours and I soon gave in to shut her up. So the conversation ended with my mom being the victor for the millionth time and me stomping away to my friend’s house. Days passed, and the topic was never mentioned. A spark of hope lighted into an engulfing flame that ran through my whole body. Maybe they changed their minds. Maybe they forgot. Maybe I convinced them that I wasn’t going. Scenarios continued to pop into my head and I jumped with joy, happy in my fairytale. However, my candle of hope was extinguished quite rapidly by the very life of my parents.
Black. Pitch black. Silence. Not even the crickets chirped. The dark night carried on with the moon peeking out behind the gray cotton ball clouds. I was sound asleep, expecting another exhausting day of tennis the following day in my short summer. Suddenly, the groans of the stairs disturbed my restful sleep. I ignored it and rolled over to block the noise out of my ears. However, my perpetrator was not satisfied with my response and blasted through the door. A suitcase was thrown upon me and I knew that doomsday had arrived. Eyes still closed, I rummaged through my closet and pulled out whatever my hands happened to be on. Shirts and shorts were popping out from the sides of the bag as I trudged down the stairs and grabbed my tennis bag. I ran into my dad’s car in the frigid cold and pondered about the things to come within my “learning” experience trip. When we finally did arrive at the nearly empty airport at three in the morning, my parents abandoned me and sent me off to find my way to the gates. The atmosphere around me continued to be gloomy and people’s grins turned to frightened expressions as they passed by. I waited impatiently at the gate, watching the clock teasing me by rolling its hands around agelessly. After what seemed like watching a snail complete the mile crawl, I boarded the plane and sat alone with no one around me, starting my “happy” travels.
After watching eight movies straight and well into my ninth, the plane rattled onto the ground and dropped me off before I could finish. I loitered towards the baggage claim and picked up my full suitcase and waited for my relatives to pick me up. However, just as I sat down, my father called and told me that I would be going with Christina to the campus that the Korean culture camp was placed at. Christina was a kind girl, but in this generation, she really wasn’t in the “in” crowd, not really my type of person I like to hang out with. I guess you could say she was your typical nerdy Asian with glasses who was antisocial and is always seen reading when not studying for the SATs. So, from hearing this call from my dad, my emotions erupted and I complained and exclaimed how my life already sucks and what he was doing was making it worse. My dad responded by hanging up. I sighed and started to get nervous over thinking how I would survive being in the car with Christina for the hour drive to the campus. My thoughts were interrupted when I saw that my nightmare had become real. Christina stood in front of me with her nose stuck in a book that was titled The Big Book of Algebra. She grabbed my hand and exclaimed, “Come on! I’ve been looking all over for you! My mom is going to drive us there, so, hurry up!” Still studying math equations, she dragged me towards her mom’s minivan, while I struggled to pry free saying that I could walk without my hand being held. Life as I knew it was going to be over for me, but I hadn’t even seen the worst yet.
The drive was long, especially because Christina would not stop talking. She continued to chat and chat about how interesting her math book was.
“Jake, don’t you think it’s really cool how a graph can be determined by a single equation? And look at this! This equation states that-“
“Shut it four eyes,” I replied rudely.
“Jeez. It’s not my fault if you fail the SATs. You should take this advantage to study and-“,
“I said shut it,” I said with my tone of voice rising.
Christina finally got the message and snuggled back into her book and scooted towards the very edge of her seat. She looked hurt, but I didn’t care. I continued to stare out the dirty window at the busy streets of Seoul trying to ignore Christina’s pained expressions. The trip remained awkward and I was relieved when the campus came into sight. I hustled out the vehicle and rampaged into the lobby of the dorms I was staying at. I checked in and got my key and ran to my room where I saw a couple of other Korean guys who were definitely several years older than me. I unloaded my messy luggage and exclaimed some greetings to the other guys. As I finished unpacking, Christina ran in and said, “Jake, the informational meeting for this camp is in thirty minutes, so you should hurry up and-,”
“Go away!” I yelled as I slammed the door in her face. One of the guys stood up and asked coolly, “That your girlfriend?”
I replied with, “No, just some heck of a ugly girl who stalks me,”
The guys roared in laughter and another dude answered my response with, “You’re pretty cool kid. You should hang out with us,”
I realized that I had already been accepted into a clan and thought that maybe, just maybe, Korea might not be as bad as I thought.
With my new buddies we hurried towards the lounge where I saw a group of thirty kids, both boys and girls. My friends introduced me to several different kids, all older than me, and I gave the kids some Heys and What’s ups. I already became a pretty well known kid, but the only thing that made me from enjoying it was Christina sitting alone reading her stupid books. My cheeks flushed red from the embarrassment of her being a loser and I avoided her pretending she was a speck of dust that no one noticed.
From the meeting I learned that that most of the kids were from the States, so they weren’t all like Christina. Most of them were actually just like me. Their parents had forced them to come to the Korean culture camp and none of them were too thrilled about staying. However, we all soon got to know each other and we decided that it couldn’t be too bad if we just stuck around together. So, a week passed and the torturing wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be. Though we barely got past the fieldtrips to ancient relics and museums, we continued to goof off and made the rainy days to the funniest sunny memories of my life. However, as soon as the fun began, things suddenly got a little messy and complicated.
After a week and a half of time with several different friends from the camp, they decided that it was time to get to know each other better. Conversations spread about family and hobbies, but slowly it started to evolve to something else. “Hey, how about we start a game of truth and dare?” One person asked to the group.
“Yeah, then we can find out some cool stuff about each other!” So, the game started and I thought that it was stupid at first, but the questions started to become more intense.
“Have you ever smoked weed?” A kid asked. It was the first question to start the trigger of events that were about to unfold.
“Duh! Hasn’t everybody?” the girl replied with a tone that told me that she was dead serious. I looked around and saw nods from everyone’s bored expressions.
“Come on John, that question’s stupid. We’ve all smoked weed before, I mean, that was so yesterday,” Another girl added. Voices of agreement were spoken out loud. I seemed to be the only one that was confused about what was going on. Everything was rushing in so fast like a wave crashing upon the delicate sand.
“Fine, How about this. Have you ever had sex?” John questioned, trying to redeem himself.
“Dang, you suck at asking interesting stuff. I already have, like 200 times,” The same girl said while looking at her nails. I remained in a daze. Sex? Weed? What happened to my funny innocent friends? They were doing stuff that I couldn’t follow. A small gap started to become in between me and the other people, but I continued to tell myself that they could still be good people.
“Jake! Helloooo! Jake! I’m talking to you!” Another person shouted at me. My head snapped towards the sound and I stared at one of my roommates.
“You have smoked weed and stuff, right?” My friend asked with a dumbfounded expression on his face.
“Ummm… No,” I said in a tiny whisper. The other kids stared at me with shocked “what is your problem” looks.
“I mean, of course not! Like you said, that is so yesterday, right?” My throat was dry like sandpaper and I was barely able to spit the words out without stuttering.
“Dang man. Not only are you cool, but you’re pretty smart too. You’re waiting for the better stuff to come out, right?”
“Y-Yeah. Right,” I managed to make out a grin and made the other kids nod in approval. I left the crowd and hurried to my room where I could clear my head from the heaps of information I didn’t want to know. I convinced myself that people can change even after doing illegal things and that just because they did something bad doesn’t mean they are a bunch of hooligans. The adrenaline started to come down and my eyesight began to focus. Even though I was positive that my friends were good friends, I was still ashamed that I lied about thinking that doing drugs and doing bad exciting things were cool. I promised myself that when the topic would come back around I would tell them the truth and make sure they know whom I really am. I joined my friends once again and began chatting about other stuff as if the truth and dare had never happened. It wasn’t until two days later that my comforting stopped working.
It was nighttime and my friends and I had just returned from traveling to a different city in Korea. We spent the whole day in the different city visiting various monuments with the culture camp, giving us no time to ever get a bite to eat. My friends and I were starving and we longed to go out to a Korean restaurant. However, it was already 11:15 P.M. and our curfew had already passed at 11:00 P.M. I already gave up on the idea of having juicy barbecued meat at midnight and started to make preparations to go to bed. My friends, though, were still starving and they were about to go berserk if they didn’t get food soon. So, they made a plan and I watched from the background, anticipating what they might risk for a bowl of noodles. One of my roommates ventured out and I was afraid that the night guards would catch him. However, within five minutes, he returned with a slip of paper in his hand. “That was a cinch,” My roommate said with a smile.
“What’d you get?” I asked curiously.
“I stole the night guard shifts. All right, so here’s the plan, at about 11:45 the main guard takes a ten-minute shower. So, at about 11:47 we’ll get to the doors. Problem is they’re locked and we don’t have the key. John this is where you come in,” My roommate said calmly, as if he had done it a hundred times.
“The main doors are locked and the only way to open them is to use a key, so our exit is the automatic door, where I will make some adjustments,” John impatiently explained to me as he swung a toolbox in front of my eyes.
“What’s that for,” I questioned, unsure about what was about to happen.
“You’ll see, just come,” John answered with annoyance.
The clock began to tick away and I nervously waited until the minute hand reached the 47. The other guys quickly filed out the room and I followed looking around, anticipating a guard that might pop out. As we reached the end of the dark hallway at the automatic door, I whispered, “You sure this is a good idea? I mean if we get caught-,”
“Oh, shut-up and stop being a baby,” John said a little too loud. I hushed and I watched John pull out several different tools, busily working away at the automatic door. The red light of the door suddenly turned green and I tried once again, “Guys, seriously, we can wait until tomorrow. It’s not like we’re going to die and besides-,”
Suddenly, a guard came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and started yelling at us in rapid Korean. He ran towards us with his hand holding the towel around his body and my mind became blocked. It was shut off from the world and it seemed as if a different soul had taken over my body, for I was bolting outside in the starry night with my friends beside me. My other self looked back and saw that the chubby guard had stopped chasing us and returned to the dorms. I halted to a stop and my real conscious began to return to me. I was blown away by what I had just done. The Jake Lee I knew before would never have even risked running away from a cop, even for his life. I had lost my appetite by the time we had arrived at the restaurant. As my friends dug into various meats, I was left pondering what had happened to the real Jake. All I knew was that he wasn’t with me.
Another week had passed since the running away from the cop incident and amazingly, the cop never did find us. However, my friendships with my buddies were on a loose end. I wasn’t as close as I was before with them and they continued to drift off further and further. For some reason my grip on them seemed to get looser, even though I longed to hold onto them. However, my grasp was finally turning into an open palm.
I felt uneasy being with my friends, but we continued to have a well off relationship. It was the last weekend in the culture camp and for our celebration of the last week, our chaperons took us out of town to a nice hotel. The day was filled with various activities like swimming in the beautiful ocean and visiting entertaining amusement parks. It was about midnight when the group returned from watching a movie. As I lay on my bed pooped out, my friends exclaimed that the night was still shy and the fun wasn’t over. Though my eyelids were drooping, I decided that it was the last day with my friends and I should enjoy spending some time with them.
“Come on, Jake! Hurry up! We have a surprise for everyone!” One of the girls screamed. All the different hotel rooms opened and the kids of the camp shuffled into a single room. I was swiftly carried along with the crowd.
“So guys, what’s the surprise?” I asked innocently. I looked around expecting a cake or something that would be fun. The girl pulled out a backpack and unzipped it, bringing out several huge bottles filled to the brim. Everyone started whooping in excitement and I looked around seeing what the commotion was about. A voice popped out, “How’d you get it? It must have been impossible!”
“Nah, it was a piece of cake. I just made a fake I.D. and the storekeeper totally bought it! He must have been blind or stupid,” the girl replied modestly. My hands wrapped around a bottle and I lifted it up reading the label. Alcohol. I glanced around seeing glass after glass of the substance being poured and consumed by teens. I backed away trying to escape, but the entrance was blocked with several guys partying. To make it worse, my best friend had started heading towards me with two glasses and a bottle. The last thing that I had wanted was inching towards me by the second. As I started to turn around for the door, my friend’s words trickled into my ear, “Come on. Don’t go. Have some, it will make everything a lot more fun,” My legs were paralyzed and it seemed as if hands had sprouted from the ground latching onto me. I pushed myself towards the door with my hands, but my friend grabbed me with his cold hands. I struggled for freedom and panicked about what might happen. The grip held fast and gained more power. His mouth moved and more words continued to flood out, “Stay with us and party,” My movement became dead and I was left vulnerable to my friend. He chose to strike and lifted up a shot of alcohol in front of my eyes. He coaxed me with more words and my hand began moving towards the glass like a puppet. There was no humanity or life within my eyes as my trembling hands wrapped around the glass. Intelligence seemed to be far off from my brain, but there was enough for me to get a hold of myself. I threw the glass across the room and sentences started to spray out like a clogged waterfall. “Ever since I met you guys, I’ve been making terrible choices. You guys aren’t good friends and you all have already broken the law millions of times. It’s not right to do this and from now and on, I’m not coming back to hang out with you guys. You have fun getting drunk and getting in trouble,” I said as I walked out of the room letting go of my desire to be in the “in” crowd.
I stood outside of the door, lonely, wishing that I had stayed in the room to remain praised as king. Though I knew even wanting it was wrong, my desires for popularity were too big. What had seemed like ages, I was back to my old self and I knew that I had to do one more good thing. I trudged across the hall and knocked on the door. The door opened slowly and Christina peered out holding a book. She began to close the door, but I barged in and sat down. I took a deep breath and let my mouth run like a motor, “I’m really sorry for being mean to you this whole time and ignoring you, but I would really like it if we could be friends,”
“Do you still think I’m weird and not cool?’ Christina asked without taking her eyes off of the book.
“No. I’m really sorry for everything,”
“Well then, you want to watch a movie or play a board game?” Christina inquired while she closed her book shut.
“Sure, that’ll be fine,” I replied with a grin on my face, happy that I was accepted by someone who I could trust.
Is the story interesting and does it make you want to read it?
I think your story is very well put together. I could really understand the character and the situations he was in. It's interesting how his personality is the kind that you would usually expect to be drinking and messing around with cops. He is an impatient jerk but refused the alcohol and everything else.
The very first paragraph is a good one. The first sentence caught and got me interested in reading more into the story. I do however, feel like it kind of ended abruptly with him just leaving the party and going back to his room. But there was a good message in your story.
Did I use any unecessary sentences or not enough descriptive words?
I did notice some grammatical errors you could easily fix. It was just simple things. Everything else was pretty good though. Good job.
Does this story reflect about courage?
You're story carries a great message of courage and control. It was very courageous of him to just leave the party and throw the glass despite all the cool kids being around. It also showed self control because he was exposed to the alcohol and could have easily gotten sucked into the trend. Jake is an interesting character.
Is this from your life? Did you have an experience like this or is some of it fictional?
P.S. Sorry about my story not being done yet. It's got a lot of loose ends at the moment and I have a lot to touch up. I still need to find the time to sit down and do it all. Thanks for your patience and your comments. TALK TO YOU LATER!!!!! It's like 1:15 in the morning here and I'm tired. Bye
The plane slashed through the snowy clouds that slowly sailed across the endless blue sky. The aircraft radiated feelings of sorrow and anger as it glided in the air swiftly. At the center of the mourning was a boy with dark storm clouds circulating his backward cap.
The boy was tall and slim, but his most astounding character was that he was an Asian. However, he happened to not be your stereotypical Asian. In fact, if his appearance was different, you could even call him white. He wasn’t brilliant and he didn’t use big words and he even played tennis, white man’s sport. He despised his cultural background and would have thrown it away if he had the chance. How might I know this kid so well? Well, that poor child being sent off to Korea happened to be me.
Nothing ever seemed to go right, at least for my pitiful life. My parents, who were probably the most Asian of Asians, with accent and all, decided it was time for me to fully understand my culture. Sending me to Korea was their plan A and plan B. I, of course, did not get to influence my opinion whatsoever and was expected to be a puppy that was excited to follow what it was ordered to do.
I didn’t meet their requirements.
I barked and snarled at the enraging idea. My parents were not amused. My mom exploded into one of her long sermons about how they were spending thousands of dollars for my own benefit and how I should be grateful to them. The words continued to be spit upon my smothered face for hours and I soon gave in to shut her up. So the conversation ended with my mom being the victor for the millionth time and me stomping away to my friend’s house. Days passed, and the topic was never mentioned. A spark of hope lighted into an engulfing flame that ran through my whole body. Maybe they changed their minds. Maybe they forgot. Maybe I convinced them that I wasn’t going. Scenarios continued to pop into my head and I jumped with joy, happy in my fairytale. However, my candle of hope was extinguished quite rapidly by the very life of my parents.
Black. Pitch black. Silence. Not even the crickets chirped. The dark night carried on with the moon peeking out behind the gray cotton ball clouds. I was sound asleep, expecting another exhausting day of tennis the following day in my short summer. Suddenly, the groans of the stairs disturbed my restful sleep. I ignored it and rolled over to block the noise out of my ears. However, my perpetrator was not satisfied with my response and blasted through the door. A suitcase was thrown upon me and I knew that doomsday had arrived. Eyes still closed, I rummaged through my closet and pulled out whatever my hands happened to be on. Shirts and shorts were popping out from the sides of the bag as I trudged down the stairs and grabbed my tennis bag. I ran into my dad’s car in the frigid cold and pondered about the things to come within my “learning” experience trip. When we finally did arrive at the nearly empty airport at three in the morning, my parents abandoned me and sent me off to find my way to the gates. The atmosphere around me continued to be gloomy and people’s grins turned to frightened expressions as they passed by. I waited impatiently at the gate, watching the clock teasing me by rolling its hands around agelessly. After what seemed like watching a snail complete the mile crawl, I boarded the plane and sat alone with no one around me, starting my “happy” travels.
After watching eight movies straight and well into my ninth, the plane rattled onto the ground and dropped me off before I could finish. I loitered towards the baggage claim and picked up my full suitcase and waited for my relatives to pick me up. However, just as I sat down, my father called and told me that I would be going with Christina to the campus that the Korean culture camp was placed at. Christina was a kind girl, but in this generation, she really wasn’t in the “in” crowd, not really my type of person I like to hang out with. I guess you could say she was your typical nerdy Asian with glasses who was antisocial and is always seen reading when not studying for the SATs. So, from hearing this call from my dad, my emotions erupted and I complained and exclaimed how my life already sucks and what he was doing was making it worse. My dad responded by hanging up. I sighed and started to get nervous over thinking how I would survive being in the car with Christina for the hour drive to the campus. My thoughts were interrupted when I saw that my nightmare had become real. Christina stood in front of me with her nose stuck in a book that was titled The Big Book of Algebra. She grabbed my hand and exclaimed, “Come on! I’ve been looking all over for you! My mom is going to drive us there, so, hurry up!” Still studying math equations, she dragged me towards her mom’s minivan, while I struggled to pry free saying that I could walk without my hand being held. Life as I knew it was going to be over for me, but I hadn’t even seen the worst yet.
The drive was long, especially because Christina would not stop talking. She continued to chat and chat about how interesting her math book was.
“Jake, don’t you think it’s really cool how a graph can be determined by a single equation? And look at this! This equation states that-“
“Shut it four eyes,” I replied rudely.
“Jeez. It’s not my fault if you fail the SATs. You should take this advantage to study and-“,
“I said shut it,” I said with my tone of voice rising.
Christina finally got the message and snuggled back into her book and scooted towards the very edge of her seat. She looked hurt, but I didn’t care. I continued to stare out the dirty window at the busy streets of Seoul trying to ignore Christina’s pained expressions. The trip remained awkward and I was relieved when the campus came into sight. I hustled out the vehicle and rampaged into the lobby of the dorms I was staying at. I checked in and got my key and ran to my room where I saw a couple of other Korean guys who were definitely several years older than me. I unloaded my messy luggage and exclaimed some greetings to the other guys. As I finished unpacking, Christina ran in and said, “Jake, the informational meeting for this camp is in thirty minutes, so you should hurry up and-,”
“Go away!” I yelled as I slammed the door in her face. One of the guys stood up and asked coolly, “That your girlfriend?”
I replied with, “No, just some heck of a ugly girl who stalks me,”
The guys roared in laughter and another dude answered my response with, “You’re pretty cool kid. You should hang out with us,”
I realized that I had already been accepted into a clan and thought that maybe, just maybe, Korea might not be as bad as I thought.
With my new buddies we hurried towards the lounge where I saw a group of thirty kids, both boys and girls. My friends introduced me to several different kids, all older than me, and I gave the kids some Heys and What’s ups. I already became a pretty well known kid, but the only thing that made me from enjoying it was Christina sitting alone reading her stupid books. My cheeks flushed red from the embarrassment of her being a loser and I avoided her pretending she was a speck of dust that no one noticed.
From the meeting I learned that that most of the kids were from the States, so they weren’t all like Christina. Most of them were actually just like me. Their parents had forced them to come to the Korean culture camp and none of them were too thrilled about staying. However, we all soon got to know each other and we decided that it couldn’t be too bad if we just stuck around together. So, a week passed and the torturing wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be. Though we barely got past the fieldtrips to ancient relics and museums, we continued to goof off and made the rainy days to the funniest sunny memories of my life. However, as soon as the fun began, things suddenly got a little messy and complicated.
After a week and a half of time with several different friends from the camp, they decided that it was time to get to know each other better. Conversations spread about family and hobbies, but slowly it started to evolve to something else. “Hey, how about we start a game of truth and dare?” One person asked to the group.
“Yeah, then we can find out some cool stuff about each other!” So, the game started and I thought that it was stupid at first, but the questions started to become more intense.
“Have you ever smoked weed?” A kid asked. It was the first question to start the trigger of events that were about to unfold.
“Duh! Hasn’t everybody?” the girl replied with a tone that told me that she was dead serious. I looked around and saw nods from everyone’s bored expressions.
“Come on John, that question’s stupid. We’ve all smoked weed before, I mean, that was so yesterday,” Another girl added. Voices of agreement were spoken out loud. I seemed to be the only one that was confused about what was going on. Everything was rushing in so fast like a wave crashing upon the delicate sand.
“Fine, How about this. Have you ever had sex?” John questioned, trying to redeem himself.
“Dang, you suck at asking interesting stuff. I already have, like 200 times,” The same girl said while looking at her nails. I remained in a daze. Sex? Weed? What happened to my funny innocent friends? They were doing stuff that I couldn’t follow. A small gap started to become in between me and the other people, but I continued to tell myself that they could still be good people.
“Jake! Helloooo! Jake! I’m talking to you!” Another person shouted at me. My head snapped towards the sound and I stared at one of my roommates.
“You have smoked weed and stuff, right?” My friend asked with a dumbfounded expression on his face.
“Ummm… No,” I said in a tiny whisper. The other kids stared at me with shocked “what is your problem” looks.
“I mean, of course not! Like you said, that is so yesterday, right?” My throat was dry like sandpaper and I was barely able to spit the words out without stuttering.
“Dang man. Not only are you cool, but you’re pretty smart too. You’re waiting for the better stuff to come out, right?”
“Y-Yeah. Right,” I managed to make out a grin and made the other kids nod in approval. I left the crowd and hurried to my room where I could clear my head from the heaps of information I didn’t want to know. I convinced myself that people can change even after doing illegal things and that just because they did something bad doesn’t mean they are a bunch of hooligans. The adrenaline started to come down and my eyesight began to focus. Even though I was positive that my friends were good friends, I was still ashamed that I lied about thinking that doing drugs and doing bad exciting things were cool. I promised myself that when the topic would come back around I would tell them the truth and make sure they know whom I really am. I joined my friends once again and began chatting about other stuff as if the truth and dare had never happened. It wasn’t until two days later that my comforting stopped working.
It was nighttime and my friends and I had just returned from traveling to a different city in Korea. We spent the whole day in the different city visiting various monuments with the culture camp, giving us no time to ever get a bite to eat. My friends and I were starving and we longed to go out to a Korean restaurant. However, it was already 11:15 P.M. and our curfew had already passed at 11:00 P.M. I already gave up on the idea of having juicy barbecued meat at midnight and started to make preparations to go to bed. My friends, though, were still starving and they were about to go berserk if they didn’t get food soon. So, they made a plan and I watched from the background, anticipating what they might risk for a bowl of noodles. One of my roommates ventured out and I was afraid that the night guards would catch him. However, within five minutes, he returned with a slip of paper in his hand. “That was a cinch,” My roommate said with a smile.
“What’d you get?” I asked curiously.
“I stole the night guard shifts. All right, so here’s the plan, at about 11:45 the main guard takes a ten-minute shower. So, at about 11:47 we’ll get to the doors. Problem is they’re locked and we don’t have the key. John this is where you come in,” My roommate said calmly, as if he had done it a hundred times.
“The main doors are locked and the only way to open them is to use a key, so our exit is the automatic door, where I will make some adjustments,” John impatiently explained to me as he swung a toolbox in front of my eyes.
“What’s that for,” I questioned, unsure about what was about to happen.
“You’ll see, just come,” John answered with annoyance.
The clock began to tick away and I nervously waited until the minute hand reached the 47. The other guys quickly filed out the room and I followed looking around, anticipating a guard that might pop out. As we reached the end of the dark hallway at the automatic door, I whispered, “You sure this is a good idea? I mean if we get caught-,”
“Oh, shut-up and stop being a baby,” John said a little too loud. I hushed and I watched John pull out several different tools, busily working away at the automatic door. The red light of the door suddenly turned green and I tried once again, “Guys, seriously, we can wait until tomorrow. It’s not like we’re going to die and besides-,”
Suddenly, a guard came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and started yelling at us in rapid Korean. He ran towards us with his hand holding the towel around his body and my mind became blocked. It was shut off from the world and it seemed as if a different soul had taken over my body, for I was bolting outside in the starry night with my friends beside me. My other self looked back and saw that the chubby guard had stopped chasing us and returned to the dorms. I halted to a stop and my real conscious began to return to me. I was blown away by what I had just done. The Jake Lee I knew before would never have even risked running away from a cop, even for his life. I had lost my appetite by the time we had arrived at the restaurant. As my friends dug into various meats, I was left pondering what had happened to the real Jake. All I knew was that he wasn’t with me.
Another week had passed since the running away from the cop incident and amazingly, the cop never did find us. However, my friendships with my buddies were on a loose end. I wasn’t as close as I was before with them and they continued to drift off further and further. For some reason my grip on them seemed to get looser, even though I longed to hold onto them. However, my grasp was finally turning into an open palm.
I felt uneasy being with my friends, but we continued to have a well off relationship. It was the last weekend in the culture camp and for our celebration of the last week, our chaperons took us out of town to a nice hotel. The day was filled with various activities like swimming in the beautiful ocean and visiting entertaining amusement parks. It was about midnight when the group returned from watching a movie. As I lay on my bed pooped out, my friends exclaimed that the night was still shy and the fun wasn’t over. Though my eyelids were drooping, I decided that it was the last day with my friends and I should enjoy spending some time with them.
“Come on, Jake! Hurry up! We have a surprise for everyone!” One of the girls screamed. All the different hotel rooms opened and the kids of the camp shuffled into a single room. I was swiftly carried along with the crowd.
“So guys, what’s the surprise?” I asked innocently. I looked around expecting a cake or something that would be fun. The girl pulled out a backpack and unzipped it, bringing out several huge bottles filled to the brim. Everyone started whooping in excitement and I looked around seeing what the commotion was about. A voice popped out, “How’d you get it? It must have been impossible!”
“Nah, it was a piece of cake. I just made a fake I.D. and the storekeeper totally bought it! He must have been blind or stupid,” the girl replied modestly. My hands wrapped around a bottle and I lifted it up reading the label. Alcohol. I glanced around seeing glass after glass of the substance being poured and consumed by teens. I backed away trying to escape, but the entrance was blocked with several guys partying. To make it worse, my best friend had started heading towards me with two glasses and a bottle. The last thing that I had wanted was inching towards me by the second. As I started to turn around for the door, my friend’s words trickled into my ear, “Come on. Don’t go. Have some, it will make everything a lot more fun,” My legs were paralyzed and it seemed as if hands had sprouted from the ground latching onto me. I pushed myself towards the door with my hands, but my friend grabbed me with his cold hands. I struggled for freedom and panicked about what might happen. The grip held fast and gained more power. His mouth moved and more words continued to flood out, “Stay with us and party,” My movement became dead and I was left vulnerable to my friend. He chose to strike and lifted up a shot of alcohol in front of my eyes. He coaxed me with more words and my hand began moving towards the glass like a puppet. There was no humanity or life within my eyes as my trembling hands wrapped around the glass. Intelligence seemed to be far off from my brain, but there was enough for me to get a hold of myself. I threw the glass across the room and sentences started to spray out like a clogged waterfall. “Ever since I met you guys, I’ve been making terrible choices. You guys aren’t good friends and you all have already broken the law millions of times. It’s not right to do this and from now and on, I’m not coming back to hang out with you guys. You have fun getting drunk and getting in trouble,” I said as I walked out of the room letting go of my desire to be in the “in” crowd.
I stood outside of the door, lonely, wishing that I had stayed in the room to remain praised as king. Though I knew even wanting it was wrong, my desires for popularity were too big. What had seemed like ages, I was back to my old self and I knew that I had to do one more good thing. I trudged across the hall and knocked on the door. The door opened slowly and Christina peered out holding a book. She began to close the door, but I barged in and sat down. I took a deep breath and let my mouth run like a motor, “I’m really sorry for being mean to you this whole time and ignoring you, but I would really like it if we could be friends,”
“Do you still think I’m weird and not cool?’ Christina asked without taking her eyes off of the book.
“No. I’m really sorry for everything,”
“Well then, you want to watch a movie or play a board game?” Christina inquired while she closed her book shut.
“Sure, that’ll be fine,” I replied with a grin on my face, happy that I was accepted by someone who I could trust.
Is the story interesting and does it make you want to read it?
I think your story is very well put together. I could really understand the character and the situations he was in. It's interesting how his personality is the kind that you would usually expect to be drinking and messing around with cops. He is an impatient jerk but refused the alcohol and everything else.
The very first paragraph is a good one. The first sentence caught and got me interested in reading more into the story. I do however, feel like it kind of ended abruptly with him just leaving the party and going back to his room. But there was a good message in your story.
Did I use any unecessary sentences or not enough descriptive words?
I did notice some grammatical errors you could easily fix. It was just simple things. Everything else was pretty good though. Good job.
Does this story reflect about courage?
You're story carries a great message of courage and control. It was very courageous of him to just leave the party and throw the glass despite all the cool kids being around. It also showed self control because he was exposed to the alcohol and could have easily gotten sucked into the trend. Jake is an interesting character.
Is this from your life? Did you have an experience like this or is some of it fictional?
P.S. Sorry about my story not being done yet. It's got a lot of loose ends at the moment and I have a lot to touch up. I still need to find the time to sit down and do it all. Thanks for your patience and your comments. TALK TO YOU LATER!!!!! It's like 1:15 in the morning here and I'm tired. Bye